In some reactionary situations it is best to just be the mirror, offering others insight into their ownselves witholding judgement from yourself.
People are the way they are, just as rocks and trees are the way they are. You wouldn’t try to change a tree into something else. No need to try to change another into something they are not. Just provide them the mirror of your own non reaction. When they are ready to change, their reflection in the mirror is all the help that they need.