Stalking the Judge
Stalking yourself past normal surface awareness you see that most of your background mental activity and behavioral reactivity is triggered by a judgement.
Stalking the judge within, you realize the insidious nature of this judge. Like a computer virus the Judge has wormed its way into a command and control position in your psyche. As you stalk your own mental activity you can see yourself judging yourself, judging others and judging others judging you.
Can you see how you were programed as a child to judge yourself to judge your own behavior? Did you clean your hands properly, did you try hard enough in school today? Are you getting fat? Why are you slower than your sister in math? Why can’t you just pay attention? on and on.
You were also programed to judge how others are judging your own behavior. In fact in most cases you were programed to place more importance on how you judge others are judging you than on how you judge yourself. This is murder on self confidence. Just wraping this concept up is a headache.
Does she think I am as pretty as Sheila? Do my parents think I am as fast as Ben? Do my classmates think I am a geek? Will anyone go to the dance with me. Do they think my clothes are weird. Everyone thinks I am nervous. Wait till your dad gets home and sees what you have done. My friends hate me. I can’t let my friends see my parents. Mom would never approve. My boss said I should not start my own business hinting I would surely fail. on and on.
Do you see how the crises of peer pressure occurs in adolescence? How horrible it is to be a teen and to have conflicting commands in your mind. You can do it. No you can’t. If only you would try harder. You are not a natural. He has more talent.
What would happen to your computer if it had multiple conflicting commands operating at once? Of course it would crash.
Your mind is a mass of conflicting commands and the judge uses these conflicting commands to maintain control of you. The Judge endlessly pits one command against another creating psycho drama after psycho drama.
Surviving adolescence is finding a way to live with conflicting behavioral control commands. Optimizing life is all about realigning your behavioral commands. Optimizing your behavioral commands means you must take conscious control of your commands away from the all powerful Judge within.
Take back self awareness and gain personal freedom by stalking your Judge and your thoughts. Make an effort every day to stay aware of your background thoughts and the judgements that started these thoughts cascading. The more you practice stalking your thoughts and stalking the Judge the better you will get at shutting the Judge down.
As stated on an earlier post. Just being aware of a judgement is enough to stop a mental and behavioral reaction.
Shift your perception by becoming aware of what is happening in your head. Stalk yourself.
This is the 3rd post on the Judge. I place tremendous importance on STAYING AWARE of the Judge. Importance on staying aware of your background thoughts. Importance on using this awareness to stop the background judgments that precipitate uncontrollable reactionary behavior. Use your awareness of a judgment to shift back to Grace.
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